How Bad Do You Want It?

It's almost midnight. It's dark. It's cold. I'm hungry. I'm tired. Nobody will know. Just sit down for a minute. Better yet, lay down. Who cares? Dude... NOBODY cares. Nobody cares if you finish in 20 hours or 30 hours. Fact is, nobody really cares if you finish at all. They are all asleep and will totally understand if you DNF. Hey... I got an idea. When you get to the next aid station just start limping. And talking in circles. Hopefully you'll catch a volunteer that can't see through your lies and tell you that you should quit. Then you have an excuse. Do you really need another buckle? No. What you need is to find a warm campfire, a chair, a cold beer and take these stupid shoes off your feet. Does it really freaking matter? Can't we just walk the rest of the way? 

If you think that every one of these thoughts hasn't gone through my head at some point during a 100 miler then you are very wrong. Every single time I have questioned my sanity, my heart, my talent, my dreams, my desire, my physical ability and my mental toughness. There have been many times when I questioned myself on shorter distances too. The one thing that always pushes me to keep stepping, to keep moving forward, to find the finish line is the idea that I have already done the hardest part. Training. Nothing is tougher than  training. Waking up at 1, 2 or 3 a.m. to fit a run in before heading off to work for 10, 12 or 14 hours is not easy. Running the last 20 miles of a 100 is a cake walk in comparison.

100 plus mile weeks, 300 mile months, holding a full time job, a part time job and attending my kids basketball games, school functions, helping with homework and discussing the days events is where it gets hard. Keeping focused can be tough at times but that is what makes the focus on race day easy. My mantra during training is simply, "Eye on the Prize". Take your eye off the prize for a second and it becomes a distant and seemingly impossible goal. Mental toughness doesn't all of a sudden appear on race day. It does, however, become a natural reaction to whatever obstacles come your way. Rain, snow, ice, extreme heat or race directors that try to skimp and leave you scrounging for sun-baked pbj's and undrinkable water can be overcome IF you have the right attitude.

So many times in the past I would train to finish the distance. To complete the distance. Sure I had goals but at the top was ALWAYS to just finish. I have learned that by training to go BEYOND the distance, I can always dig a little deeper and push just a little harder when things get tough. The "wall" still exists but it's not the death nail that it once was. I have found myself looking forward to hitting the wall because I know that once it finally shows up, I WILL be able to push through and things will get easy again. No fear of dying. No fear of failure. No fear of not reaching my goals. Secure in the knowledge that I have already conquered worse during training calms me down and allows the relentless forward progress to continue. It allows me to question myself and run through the scenarios of quitting without any realistic expectation that I would actually follow through.

Eye on the Prize. How bad do you want it? Do you still want it as bad now as you did yesterday? These are the thoughts that always win out during the tough times. It is always the same. I want it bad. I want it more now than yesterday. Yes, my eye is on the prize. Failure is not an option. Keep going unless you are dead. This is the stuff I learn through the training period. Nobody WANTS to get up at the butt crack of dawn to run 2, 3, 4 or 5 hours. Nobody WANTS to go to work everyday on 3 or 4 hours sleep. Nobody WANTS to run 4 hours, go to their kid's basketball tournament and then run another 5 hours after it's over. Only a crackhead would WANT to throw in 40 miles on a treadmill. These are the things we do because we WANT to succeed on race day more.

Mental toughness is 90% of my strategy. The other 10% has to do with beer and Oreos so I won't bore you with the details. My "natural" running talent is very small and I realize that if I want to compete then I must do what others aren't willing to do. That is what drives me to the next goal, the next medal, the next trophy or the next buckle. I will never be an elite runner. I will remain average at best. I know this. Thankfully the VOICES don't really care what I think I know and they keep pushing me to new limits. When in doubt - push a little harder. You will be so worried about dying that you will forget about the doubt and things WILL get better.

A New Appreciation...

As the sun began to fill the sky, bringing the darkness into light and signaling the start of a new day, it became difficult to see the faces of so many that had braved the night in a celebration of lives and continuation of a long enduring battle. The difficulty was a result of my own blurred vision as tears formed in a steady stream down my face. This was it. The end of another Relay for Life. With my head down in an attempt to mask the emotion, hoping that it remained unnoticed by those that had stayed, I continued to circle the track lost in thought. This is the time during each Relay that I become overwhelmed by the sheer symbolism of it all. The new day brings forth the hope that we will win along with the knowledge that road ahead is long, difficult and, at times, painful. The dawning of a new day reinforces the notion that we are willing to stay the course and never take our eyes off the ultimate prize.

Throughout the night we celebrated, honored and remembered all of those that have been touched by cancer. We sold food, drinks, shirts, auctioned off baskets full of goodies, raffled a trailer and played carnival type games in an effort to raise just a few more dollars. The Luminaria Ceremony was held with the highest level of respect, followed by fireworks that filled the night sky. As the crowd began to dwindle with many calling an end to a long day, those that stayed knew it had really only just begun.

In the past, I had participated in the Relay for Life as a member of a team. Problem was is that I really wasn't a very good teammate. I mostly did my own thing throughout the year, raising money at different races and then just showing up on Relay night with my running shoes and a water jug. I never fully understood how amazing the whole event could be. Or just how much work and effort go into bringing things together in a manner that makes the night enjoyable and fun for everybody. I had been pretty selfish in this regard without even realizing it. This year my approach was a little different.

IRC Relay Team raised $8,800 this year

Back in October, as I prepared for my annual Turn the Trail Pink fundraiser, it became necessary for me to register early with the Relay website. Because it was so early, I just formed my own team thinking that I would merge with the old team later. As time passed the idea struck me that maybe I could get some new people involved through social media with my team. As it turned out, several people jumped on board and the Idiots Running Club Relay for Life team was born. I really didn't do anything different- still ran the same 50k, 50 miler and 100 miler to raise money as in previous years but as June approached it became evident that I might need a little better plan for Relay night. Thankfully there were plenty of people much smarter than I am that wanted to help.

We decided to set up our campsite in a birthday theme. Worked for me since the Relay and my  41st birthday were on the same day.  I asked for donations of $41 to run in the pink tutu and, no surprise to me, there were a few takers. Guess people like seeing a dude in a dress. Or, more likely, they are the very generous type and hate cancer as much as the rest of us. Either way.... the stupid tutu was worn but that's boring so we'll skip that part. My son also set up a campsite along with us. His theme was Superman and it was awesome. Awesome because he asked to be involved and be allowed to do his own thing. He even wrote a letter detailing exactly why he wanted to Relay. He's 10 and much more mature than his dad.

Never to early to get involved.....

Setting up the campsite was much more work than I had envisioned. It took all day and we were still scrambling to pull things together when the Opening Ceremonies began.. Several out of town team members showed up to support the event and run laps during the night. It was very cool to meet those that I had only previously known in a virtual sense through our facebook group. My Dad was able to make it again this year but he couldn't stay long because, while he is cancer free, the beast has taken it's toll and it can be difficult for him at times. I am very thankful that he made the trip and we did walked the Survivor Lap together.

A friend, Jamie, had been planning to come to the Relay as a member of the team for several months just to support the event. Recently her Dad was diagnosed with cancer and the Relay took on a different role in her life. I watched as she pushed her physical limits over the course of the night with a passion and dedication that couldn't be stopped. It became a personal journey as she circled the track 120 times for a total of 30 miles. One mile for each treatment her Dad is in the midst of receiving and eclipsing her personal distance record. When it became difficult and her legs started to get sore she never complained or talked about quitting. She just pushed forward knowing that it was nothing in comparison. It really does amaze me what people can do when they find the right motivation. It also helps to surround yourself with a bunch of people that understand and have the same desire to fight back. Every person there recognized, supported and felt exactly the same way as Jamie. It's hard not to succeed with that kind of energy in the air.

Obviously she wasn't the only one that did amazing things that night. Her story just seemed familiar to me. Several teammates logged big miles and honored those they love or have lost. I can honestly say that every single person who walked, ran, participated in activities or worked during the night are heroes in my eyes. Hope is the common bond that brought us all together. With hope there is the courage to fight back. There are many soldiers in the fight that are filled with hope and I appreciate and am grateful to be with them in this battle.

My goal was to run 41 miles. I ran 35. In the years past the mileage has averaged 55. What happened? Well..... It's much easier to just show up an run than it is to actually participate in a Relay for Life. I played games, hung out at the campsite, ate a ton of food, laughed, smiled and took in the entire atmosphere of the event this time. Not only did I have more fun than ever before, I gained a new perspective and appreciation for the hard work and effort that everybody puts in. I had been running with blinders on since 2010 and didn't really get that EVERYBODY involved works really hard to end cancer. In some weird, egotistical dreamland I had somehow pushed aside the importance of their contributions and managed to minimize it in the past. I knew they cared. I knew they were dedicated. I knew they were passionate. But this year I opened my eyes and watched with clarity as friends, families and complete strangers worked with a level of selflessness and determination that was many times greater than my own.

Just for fun....

I love learning new things about the character of others and the flaws of my own each time I take another step in this journey. It can be humbling at times but that is what makes it so worthwhile. Knowing that as hard as I might try at any given time there are 100 people doing so much more keeps me secure in the knowledge that HOPE is alive and a world without cancer is in our children's future. Thank you to all who participate, donate and are active in the fight. Without your dedication nothing happens.

Run Big. Dream Big. Celebrate Big.

For the past three years I have ran during the Relay for Life in Ozark County, MO. All night. Around and around an old asphalt track in the heat and humidity of a southern Missouri summer's night. This year I was leaning towards the idea of NOT running all night and just kicking back and watching the awesomeness that is the Relay. I really thought this was going to be the year that the pink tutu gimmick faded away since it has probably been played out. Questions and thoughts of "How many times will it work?" and  "Everybody has seen it." were on the forefront of my mind. To be honest,  it really doesn't shock anybody and I think more people recognize me in the stupid thing than out of it. But then.... I received a donation to my Relay page in the amount of $41 and it got my wheels turning.....

Why $41? Glad you asked....The Relay for Life Ozark County is on June 14th this year. Yes. Flag Day. A great National Holiday. It is also the day the new Superman movie debuts.Granted I'm no Superman but Flag Day is my favorite holiday  and I do some a lot of dumb stuff that leaves me feeling like I hit my head on a piece of Kryptonite so it all works out. Oh... did I mention that June 14th is also my birthday? Yep. I'll be.... wait for it...... turning 41. That makes the whole $41 donation make sense. Right? It does to me. Here's my new/old plan.

I always ask people to sponsor me per lap, any amount would be appreciated and welcome, but the pink tutu does have a set price. Yep. You guessed it. $41 for an hours worth of humiliation, chaffing in weird places and the opportunity to help fight back against the monster that is cancer. If you so desire, I'll happily demonstrate how to improperly "Prancercize" or whatever other creative and embarrassing ideas you throw out there. (I do reserve the right to say NO but that's unlikely if there's a donation involved)

I would love to set up a poster board at the Idiots Running Club (yes, it's a real club) campsite with names of those you choose to honor. A donation is not necessary to have a name added (but greatly appreciated) to the board. We will have pictures and video to let you share in the experience. I have also asked members of the IRC to send various running related items for a basket to be auctioned off. Thus far, I have received a few packages from all over the U.S. If you would like to donate items for the basket please send them to my address (listed below) before June 14th.

This year will be extra special for me because my 10 year old son has decided to set up his own camp. He has been recruiting friends to help sell drinks, set up games and sell whatever they can come up with. It makes me very proud that he has chosen to become an active participant in the Relay for Life. The children are our future and a huge reason that we must continue the fight. His theme is.... nope, not my birthday.... Superman. I find it appropriate that he has picked the greatest superhero of all time to join him in his quest to see a world without cancer. Hard to lose when you have the Man of Steel, with his never ending desire to defeat evil, on your side.  He has a Relay page HERE if you would like to donate to his cause. I will honor all $41 donations and requests made through him. We're in this fight together.

The plan is to run at least 41 miles but in the years past the number has been 50-55 miles. I'm not in ultra-distance shape this time but..... I have a hard head so I doubt that there will be a limit on mileage. Besides, who doesn't like to run as many miles as possible on a high school track? It would be silly to stop.

If you're interested in adding a name(s) to the board please email runlikeamug@gmail.com or send me a message on facebook.

For donations please click one of the links below or drop it in the mail.

David Murphy
212 Murphy Lane
Wasola, MO
65773

Relay for Life Webpage 




Or through PayPal

Thank you for your continuing support with this and all my other big/dumb stunts in our effort to rid the world of the beast that is cancer.  

 ~In times of great despair and uncertainty, it helps to know you’re not alone and that there is an answer– HOPE~

Thankful.....

I was born on Flag Day, raised with the Pledge of Allegiance and listened with pride to the stories of family members that served in World War II and Vietnam. I grew up in the 70's and 80's during the Cold War, a time when schools had routine drills for nuclear war, and I watched in relief as the Iranian Hostages were freed, looked on in horror when 220 US Marines lost their lives in Beirut, cheered when "The Wall" came tumbling down and was shocked during the Tiananmen Square Massacre. Looking back now it is easy to understand my unwavering loyalty to the Stars and Stripes.

Superman has always been, by far, my favorite Superhero. Not because he can fly or has x-ray vision. No, that stuff is really cool and I have tried to both fly and see through.... uhhhh.... stuff but for me it was the whole, "Truth, Justice and the American Way" thing. From the earliest age I loved that he would save the world but always remained loyal to the good old USA. Crazy, I know but that was always what I loved most about the Man of Steel. Of course, I wanted to be Rambo and Maj. McCoy at different times too. As a child back in "the day" there was no shortage of war hero movies and all of this cemented the notion in my young brain that it was not only a great honor but a responsibility to serve.

Coming out of high school, I had no idea that I would join the USMC. In fact, it was a fluke that I even enlisted. The first Persian Gulf war was all over TV and coming to an end when I made the move. I remember driving home from my part-time-turned-full-time job and without much thought found myself pulling into the parking lot of the Armed Forces Recruiting Building. As I walked in, I recalled the stories of a few of my Dad's friends who were former Marines. Without hesitation I walked in and told the Recruiting Sergeant that I was ready to enlist. I'm sure this was the easiest "sell" he had ever had. I left with an appointment for a physical and ready for the swearing in ceremony.

My time in the Marines was nothing special as I was never in a combat zone, dodged bullets or had the overwhelming fear that I might, at any time, die. I remember volunteering for deployment to Somalia and Bosnia on more than one occasion. One time in particular stands out. I was, once again, asking to be deployed when a Corporal, who was only a year or two older than I was and just returning from his 3rd trip to Somalia came in. He had a hardened and haunted look as he told me that I shouldn't ask to go if I wasn't ready to give it all. He had a chest full of medals, one of which was the Purple Heart, and the no-nonsense tone of a person that revealed he was the "real deal" and not a character in a Hollywood movie. As I look back, now 20 years later, I am thankful that my journey didn't take me to these places even though I thought that's what I needed to do at the time.

That Corporal, among many other grizzled and very honorable combat veterans remain constant and steady VOICES as I go through life. When I began running back in 2006, there was never a thought that I would run 26.2, 50 or even 100 miles one day. But there was the knowledge that I could if I so desired. There would be nobody to stop me but myself. Nothing in my way. No governmental intrusion or law preventing me from fulfilling my dreams. The VOICES of those that have served and sacrificed their lives to ensure that our freedom is secure fill my head on daily basis in everything I do. They are the reason that I teach my children to stand up when the National Anthem is playing, to respect our flag and say the Pledge of Allegiance without fear or shame. I fly the flag, have a picture of the Marines at Mt. Suribachi on my wall, support our troops regardless of politics and thank a veteran when I meet them. I am proud to live in the shadow they cast.

Today is Veterans Day. The day we celebrate and honor the GREAT men and women that have served in an effort to keep this country the Home of the Free and the Land of the Brave. I am extremely honored and humbled that they are willing to risk their lives so the rest of us don't have to. From the Battles of Lexington and Concord to the Mountains of Afghanistan they have served and died for our nation. I am eternally grateful and hopeful that I can live my life in way that honors the gift they have left behind.