Third Time's A Charm

In June of 2010, I experienced my first Relay for Life event. I ran 216 laps or 54 miles that night and walked away with a feeling of satisfaction. A feeling that I had done something special. In June of 2011, I participated in my 2nd Relay for Life and ran 212 laps or 53 miles throughout the night and left with that same feeling. I had done something special. Of course, I had many other feelings and emotions that went well beyond my accomplishment but sometimes the lines become blurred and it becomes difficult to see the forest through the trees.

The third time's a charm. That is how I would describe this year's Relay for Life. It was held on June 15th in Ozark County, MO. This year was different for a few reasons. One, I had made the bold, Muhammad Ali-like, prediction of running 60 miles. Second, BOTH of my parents would be there to walk with me and carry the torch during the Survivor Lap. Third, both of my brothers showed up to experience their first Relay. Finally, I opened my eyes and, for the first time, truly observed the Relay.

Let me run through this as quickly as possible..... The Survivor Lap will forever be a part of my "happy memories". That place where things are stored for a quick smile during hard times. I have always been a little shy (true story) and still wonder how this happened but I am extremely happy and grateful that it did. After this my dad ran an entire lap with me. He had made it less than half way around the track last year. My little brother joined me for a mile and I could tell that he was experiencing the "magic" that comes during a first Relay. I continued to circle the track as my family participated in many of the events, sampled the great food and mingled with the crowds.

I had agreed to wear the pink tutu for $25 per mile and had to put it on early in order to get all 40 miles in. I have become comfortable wearing it in public but it will never be my first choice of running clothes. It is uncomfortable, hot and must look pretty funny judging by the smiles, laughs and remarks. Still it's a great way to raise a few bucks. This year, for the entire 2012 Relay for Life cycle, the pink tutu, the 100 miler and the Honor Scroll brought $5,955 in donations. That pretty much guarantees that I will break it out again for the next cycle.

The event continued through the night. During the Luminaria Ceremony, I was asked to carry the torch after the initial lap, through the conclusion. This was an awesome experience. It was dark and the torch lit my way. The luminaria were lit and as each name was read aloud I couldn't help but feel a bond with that person. The torch was heavy in the beginning but by the end it felt like I was floating on air and seemed to weigh nothing. Call me crazy but I'm positive that I wasn't alone after all during these laps.

The running continued. Friends joined and circled the track. Some for just a few laps and some for several miles. Each person had their own reasons for participating in the Relay. I began to look around. I mean REALLY look around and see, for the first time, a clear picture of the Relay for Life and the amazing people that make it happen. It's a gathering of passionate people that contribute in many different ways to the same goal. So many that work year round to make this one night special. They involve their friends, family, co-workers and schools. Their children hold fundraisers, work hard and stay up all night walking or running laps with knowledge and understanding of WHY they are doing it.

As I made my way through the final dozen or so laps the sun was coming up. I thought of the conversation my nine year old son and I had on the ride down to the track just 12 hours earlier. He told me the reason we hold the Relay at night, explaining that in the beginning we feel really strong but when it gets dark, things will get tough and we'll feel weak and just when we can't take it anymore the sun will come up and we'll feel strong and happy knowing that we survived. I'm not sure where he picked this up but I do know this. He was right. His sentiments were repeated during the opening ceremonies as my friend Karla read Why Do We Walk Through The Night?.

So.... as the sun came up and I closed the night with 55 miles, instead of the 60 I had so boldly predicted, I couldn't help but smile.Coming up short of any goal is not something that I'm used to or something that I'm likely to ever embrace again but this time it was okay. It simply means that as far as we have come there is still work to do. There was still an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction. Not that I had done anything special but that I was privileged enough to be such a small piece of a much larger puzzle.

So many people work 100 times harder than I do for the Relay. So many people sacrifice 100 times more than I ever will to make the Relay a success. For the 3rd year, I took home a couple of plaques and I will hang them on my wall with pride but for the first year I walked away with something much bigger and more important. The Relay for Life brings out the best of the best in our community. It shows me that love, hope and hard work can be found in the hearts of all those that participate. Cancer does not stand a chance against those odds. It's just a matter of time before we live in a world without cancer.

Does It Really Matter?

Fundraising is draining. Emotionally and physically. I ask myself, "Does it really matter?" Sometimes I really want to quit and just concentrate on my race/run/event. Take the extra time to relax and get into my ninja-like state of calm..... Then I get an email, message or phone call that punches me in the mouth and inspires me to do more, to work harder, to find a way to raise more money and awareness to beat the monster. Here is one that I wanted to share. No matter how hard it gets on the trail, road or track, my struggles will always pale in significance. I know that I'm not even a tiny fraction of the person she/he thinks I am..... but if it helps them through a dark hour or time, I will keep striving to that level. 

Thank you. Hmmm...thank you doesn't even begin to say what I really want to say. I don't even know that I can find the words right now...and I would write thank you a million times right now if I could.
Thank you...

I know that (a mutual friend)  had you add me to the scroll. I didn't know what to say. I have been pretty private about what I have been going through. I have not discussed this openly yet (other than what I have shared with some very special people in my life...my cheerleaders), but in my attempt to be as normal as possible through this stuff, I have found a lot of strength and inspiration. I am finding out who I really am. 

Thank you...

I went to the gym this morning and had a great strength workout and a little bit of time on the elliptical...and I threw up...and I went back to the lipty and finished out my cool down. I was already exhausted, but I kept going. And I know that a workout that is a little over an hour is nothing compared to what you have done with your running, but I thought of you. I thought of YOU. Because you are pretty freaking amazing. You endure miles that some people could only dream of. Because you are YOU. And I know I haven't talked to you yet, but I watch from my quiet little corner in the world and I think you are one of a kind...incredible...crazy (in only the best ways)...and the most wonderful person I have never met. 

Thank you...

For the times you go out there and you think that you can't push through another mile, but you do it anyways...you inspire. You inspire me...

Thank you...

For caring so much about something to make a difference. For turning your pain into a passion.

Thank you...

For not quitting. I read your post about the 50 and started crying almost instantly. THANK YOU FOR NOT QUITTING.

Thank you...

I am sick tonight. I am exhausted and sick and angry. But I am hopeful. I am half way through my treatment and I have a light at the end of the tunnel. I have not and will not let "chuck" define me (the other word is just too much to say some days...I prefer chuck) . 

Thank you...

You give me motivation to keep going. I will wake up and go to the gym tomorrow morning. And no matter how much I want to stay in bed, because it hurts to wake up, I will get my ass moving anyways. And I will do my workout with a smile on my face. And I will push myself to add more weight to the machines. And it is going to hurt. But it will hurt so good. Then I will take a nap. 

Thank you...

You give me a reason to not stop. After my nap and some food that tastes like tinfoil (I swear...everything tastes like tinfoil right now) I am going to hop on my bike and ride like there is no tomorrow. It might not be far and it certainly won't be fast, but if you can run a shit ton of miles, there is no reason I can't go for a ride. 

Thank you...

I will cry. I think it is ok to cry. And I will be angry that I can't throw out a century ride just yet. And I will laugh because I might just be crazy. And I will cry some more... and I will read your post again. And I will cry a little more. I am not sad though. Don't be mistaken. I am just so touched by what you do. 

Thank you...

For taking me along for your run. It means so much to me.

Thank you...

...for being you.


Just another reason to Relay. I will post this message on my "aid station" tonight as I attempt 60 miles on the track. When I feel like quitting, or start thinking that it doesn't matter, I'll take a few minutes to read this again. 

When I Look Back

When I look back.....
I can't really remember what life was like before I was married.
I can't really remember what life was like before I had children.
I can't really remember what life was like before I became a runner.
I can't really remember what life was like before I Relayed.

It's funny how all of these share a common theme. Each individual link in this chain is a life changing event. It's crazy how one event changes the path of life and opens the door to new possibilities and discoveries. In all cases, for me, each link has steered me down a course of fulfillment and purpose. Marriage, children, running, Relaying. I know "running" seems like a silly thing to put on this list and when compared to the others it seems minor. It's not. Here's why.....

I started running in 2006. I quickly became addicted, obsessed and all the other things my wife says. I started running 5k's, 10k's and even a 1/2 marathon in that first year. I LOVED placing in my age group or in the overall top 3. The medals, trophies and looking for that next personal best became my reason to run. My purpose to run. This worked for me. I progressively got better and learned to enjoy the long, hard hours of training. I lost some weight along the way and felt better than I had in many years. I was a runner.

I continued running and racing, finding myself at the finish line of marathons and ultra-marathons over the next few years. I was collecting  finisher medals, age group awards, medals and celebrating my accomplishments. Then my dad was diagnosed with cancer one day in December. The next day we were in St. Louis preparing for major surgery. The surgeons removed 1/3 of his esophagus before we fully understood what happened. My head was spinning and running seemed to help gather my thoughts over the next month or two.

I ran to clear my head, to think of new questions to ask the doctors, to try and digest all the information and accept the changes and battles ahead. This was helping, my dad was slowly coming around, his future looked promising and life was starting to look "normal" again. I continued running for myself. For my purpose. One day in March, I talked to my mom. Cancer. Colorectal. Many hours of life saving and life changing surgery to remove the cancer followed by chemo and radiation treatments came quickly. I ran a lot of miles through her small Kansas town during this period while gathering my thoughts, crying and deciding on a new purpose.

I decided that I should, could and would dedicate my running to a new purpose. The medals, trophies and glory of a new personal best are no longer my purpose. I have only run in three races this year. Three. But I have helped raise almost $5,000 to Fight Back. This disease will not win . There are too many people dedicated to making sure that we will one day live in world without cancer. I believe this can happen. I believe this will happen. I will do my part to make sure this does happen. One day our kids will "look back" and struggle to remember a time when cancer was a problem.

Our little community here in Ozark County, MO bands together each year for the Relay for Life. All I knew about this event was that a bunch of people raised money by selling items such as food, crafts and clothing. They also walked on the high school track for some reason. I had participated in a few of the local 5k's but I was after the bling and didn't understand (or, to be honest, care) about the what or why behind it. Thankfully, the people involved are highly dedicated and are very happy to help somebody like me to learn. They have taken me under their wings and shown me how amazing people are and what it really means to Relay. This year BOTH my mom and dad will make the trip and walk the survivor lap.


We have all lost friends and loved ones. We all know somebody that has family members fighting the battle. This week I will celebrate my 40th birthday as a pallbearer at a funeral for a friend's mother who lost the battle. He and his sister are lifelong friends and considered family to me. They also lost their dad less than two years ago to cancer. How is this right? Cancer is evil and we must stand together and FIGHT BACK!!


In 2010 I ran all night on the track for the first time and logged 54 miles. Last year, while wearing that stupid pink tutu, I logged 53 miles. This year, on June 15th, I am looking for 60 miles. Not for me. Not for the bling. For you. For our parents. For our children. For a purpose. I'm again asking for sponsorship of $10 per mile. That's $2.50 per lap. UNLESS you want to see me in that stupid pink tutu again. My dignity and self respect goes for $25 per mile. ($6.25 per lap for the math whizzes out there)


If you want to donate online you can do so by clicking one the links below.......

Relay for Life





PayPal

Or by mail to:

David Murphy

HC 72 Box 324-8

Wasola, MO 65773

(Make checks payable to The American Cancer Society)

You can also purchase a bumper sticker for $5 donation.

 Click HERE for details.

Relay For Life is a life-changing event that brings together more than 3.5 million people
every year to …
Celebrate the lives of those who have battled cancer. The strength of survivors inspires
others to continue to fight.
Remember loved ones lost to the disease. At Relay, people who have walked alongside
those battling cancer can grieve and find healing.
Fight Back. We Relay because we have been touched by cancer and desperately want to
put an end to the disease. Make a commitment to save lives by taking up the fight.

Princess Bumper Sticker

If you want one of these dumb stickers, donate $5 (or more) to the ACS through my Relay for Life page or PayPal AND fill out the form below. If you don't want one of these stickers, you are probably smart enough not to fill out the form. But you can still do the $5 (or more) part.

                                                  

Click here to donate through PayPal

Click here to donate on my Relay for Life Page