Nothing to Prove....

I have nothing to prove to anybody. Except the VOICES. They are never satisfied. Always pushing. Always taunting. Always wanting more. They expect more. They believe I can deliver everytime, regardless of how I feel mentally or physically. They are also my harshest critics, questioning every success or accomplishment.

They pushed me through my first half marathon even though I had the flu. I finished in 1:30:36. I should have been ecstatic but the VOICES let me know that I had missed a sub 1:30 by a mere 37 seconds. I qualified for Boston during the first attempt by finishing 2 minutes under my required time. BUT I dropped 5 minutes on the second half. "Need to work on that." A 3rd place finish, in a small marathon, when I had pneumonia like symptoms? Or a 5th place finish the following year while limping from a calf strain? "Dude, you suck. Toughen up."

After my first 50 miler, where I placed 3rd overall, they questioned whether it was legitimate or merely a lack of stronger competition. Last November I busted a sub 3 marathon and a PR one week after a strong 5th place finish on a tough 50k course. The VOICES once again called me out. "Fluke", they said, "do it again." Less than two weeks later I ran another sub 3 and PR'd. That worked for a minute....

Sub 24 100 miler? Nope. Not good enough. "The course wasn't that tough. Anybody could run it in 21 hours...."  An 11th place 50 mile finish on a rough trail course with a swollen knee? "Big deal." Maybe a sprint tri on "Ye Old Schwinn" and zero swim training? Nope. Expected to do well. A state record for the 35-39 year old age group in the 50 miler? "What a joke. Pure luck."

"Of course you can carry a 40lb kid for a 5k. It's only 3.1 miles...." As I write this it becomes clear to me why I had to run the Bass Pro Marathon with an ITB injury that had me limping for the majority of the miles. I still have something to prove to myself. I don't know what it is but there is something. Maybe the VOICES want me to reach a point where I can just be happy with who I am as a runner.

Or maybe I just need to sit one out and watch from the sidelines. I don't like it but maybe I need to prove to myself that I can........ Wish me luck this weekend as I cheer from the sidelines of the White River Marathon. This will be my biggest challenge yet.

We Are Fighters. We Never quit.

The 2nd Annual Turn the Trail Pink 50k...... I almost didn't ask. Almost skipped the part where we make it count. The ONLY part that matters. Why? Well, it's simple. I was a little scared that everyone was tired of the constant begging for donations and tired of the whole "dude in a pink tutu" act. Trust me, I'm kind of tired of that part too. But I did ask. And you responded. Again. Big time. Last year the total raised was $405. This year? $2,147. Yep. $2,147. Amazing.

I always say that this is a team effort and I am just a very small part of it. I believe this is 100% true. Without the awesome support from everyone involved- nothing happens. It means a lot to me that so many took a few minutes to share my blog with others. Big thanks to all that donated money. Contributions from $5 to an "anonymous" donation of $500 helped make this a success. Special thanks to a friend from the "Benton Park Gang" who organized a bake sale that raised $250 and to another friend that collected $200 from co-workers for the event. That was really awesome. In total, there were 76 names placed on ribbons and attached to the tutu to honor on this run.

On to the race....... There were a LOT of looks as I approached the starting area on Sunday morning. A few years ago this would have really bothered me. I'm not sure when I quit caring what people thought of me but it's fairly new..... whatever. There where plenty of friends there to support me, which is always nice. After a few pictures and a lengthy wait in line for the restroom (a few snickers & comments) it was time to get started.


Coming in to this race, my confidence wasn't real high that I would be very competitive, which sounds funny to some considering the 50 mile age group state record thing just a few weeks ago, but my self-expectations were low for this race. Whatever. The race started and everything else melted away, the adrenaline rush of running with pack took over and it was on. I ran with my friend Jon for the first few miles before the pack began to spread out.

This is a tough course with a LOT of steep hills. Last year I ran a very fast pace and finished in 4:26. I knew this year would not be as fast and soon figured out that the course had been changed to include a "less runnable" section of steep hills. This made the race a bit tougher and that is EXACTLY what we look for in an ultra. Regardless of the course change, my time would have been slower and I enjoyed the harder challenge.




Around mile 14 I hit the split between the 25k and 50k. I had no idea where I was in terms of placement but I guessed it was around 10th place. Not sure what I based this estimate on but it seemed reasonable and I told myself that 10th would be great. It was getting warm and I was wearing down. The whole "tutu" outfit is hot and uncomfortable in the best of conditions and I was slowing down. 3 people passed me between mile 16 and 18. This did not sit well with me but I let it happen anyway.



Things got very quiet and lonely as I pressed on through the next 10 or 12 miles. Occasionally I would run into another runner that was still making their way on the "out" portion. Other than that and the few aid station people it was pretty secluded giving me plenty of time to think about the 76 names I was fortunate enough to carry. I don't know all the stories, but I do know a few and they break my heart. Friends from high school to a 4 year old that many of us follow on facebook..... cancer is evil. Just thinking about the journeys of those this run represented was enough to push me through these hard and lonely miles.


I caught a glimpse of another runner around mile 29. Where did he come from? I wasn't going fast enough to catch anybody. This was the last thing I needed. A freakin' race down the stretch with this dude. The thought came to me to just let him go..... but then a voice said...."Really? Really? Are you saying that you can't put just a little effort? We are fighters. We never quit. We believe."



Sounds silly, but that was a powerful moment for me. I knew that that voice represented all the warriors that had dug deep and found strength when faced with much more painful and real situations than a stupid trail race. I pushed a little harder and eventually passed that runner. Now I was ready to cruise in the last mile with the knowledge that I had stepped up when asked and secure in the idea that I had represented well..... Uh-oh.... What the?? Where did this dude come from? Up ahead, another runner that had passed me earlier. There was no way that I could catch him..... "Really? Don't be such a....." Well, you get it. I pushed with all I had and passed him too.


Coming into the finish area of this race is always fun. Even more so when you have a lot of friends there to cheer you on. Not sure where the energy came from but for some reason I decided to do a "less than spectacular" cartwheel before hitting the finish line. You can watch it here......




Final result was 5:23, 5th place overall and 1st in the 35-39 age group. Not bad for a slacker. I would promise to hang up the tutu and not ask for your help again but that won't happen. I do, however, promise to keep begging and finding new ways to raise money and honor those touched by cancer until there is a cure. It is comforting to know that I am not alone in this fight. Thank you.

In times of great despair and uncertainty, it helps to know you’re not alone and that there is an answer–hope.

2nd Annual Turn the Trail Pink 50k Run

Here we go again.......

On October 23, 2011 we will attempt to Turn The Trail Pink at the Dogwood Canyon 50k. I will run the course wearing a pink tutu in support of breast cancer awareness. I am asking (begging) for donations in the amount of $5. For each $5 donation a ribbon will be personalized and attached to the tutu. ALL of the money will go to the American Cancer Society through the Relay for Life.

The original idea for this event last year was to support Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It still is but after reflecting on the reasons why I got involved in the FIGHT, I decided it would be better to honor all people touched with ANY form of cancer. For those that do not know my reasons, I'll explain briefly. In December of 2009, my dad was diagnosed and underwent major surgery. A few months later, in March, my mom was hit with cancer and also had major surgery. Both of my parents are recuperating and both have had emergency surgeries due to complications of the prior ones.

This was an eye opening experience and life changing events for all of us but they are WARRIORS and that motivates me to do what I can to honor not only them but EVERYONE that has dealt with the BEAST that is cancer. In the past year, 4 people that I loved have been stolen from us. Many of my friends have had loved ones ripped from their lives too. WE must take a stand and fight back.

So, with that said, Turn The Trail Pink is in the spirit of Breast Cancer Awareness Month but will honor all those touched by any type of cancer. All donations are gladly accepted and to show support for breast cancer awareness, EVERY ribbon will be pink. All donations will benefit the Relay For Life. This is a great opportunity to show honor and fight back.

The donations are the ideal scenario but, as always, not required and any name received will be honored. I feel it is necessary to ask because it is so important but I understand that money can be tight at times and it is fine if you can't donate. You can still participate. You should still send the names of those you want to honor. DO NOT let finances keep you away from this. There are other ways to help and support the FIGHT. I urge you to get involved with this event and others like it. We all have something to offer.

If you do choose to donate, please click on the Relay for Life button on the right or send a check or cash to;

David Murphy
HC 72 Box 324-8
Wasola, MO
65773

Make checks payable to the American Cancer Society. Contact me by email at runlikeamug@yahoo.com for questions or to send names. Remember to ask your employer about matching contributions. Tell your friends at the local watering hole and see if they will help. Share this blog with others and spread the word. TOGETHER we can make it happen.

Thanks to those that have already supported this and my past Big/Dumb stunts, without you NOTHING happens.

‎~There's only one thing that can guarantee our failure, and that's if we quit.~

For Better Or Worse.....

For 119 days I ran. Everyday. No matter what. No less than 3 miles. Some days 15 or 20 miles. Some days I ran twice. Why? Because I was "Streaking". At first, it was just because the days ran together. In fact, it is common for me to run 10 or 12 days in a row without taking a day off. I don't really know why or when the VOICES decided I should streak. It just kind of happened quietly.

I fully expected the streak to end at 48 days. But on the day after the 53 mile run at the Relay For Life, the VOICES had me throwing down a 5 miler on the treadmill. Okay.... Then I thought it would end at 77 with the "non-training, almost drowning, non-bike riding, I forgot how to run a 5k, Tri". Nope. The VOICES wanted more.

At 100 days and 700 miles the VOICES were happy and ready to call it good. This is where I took over and "sold out". I got wrapped up in the numbers. It was like a crazy addiction. Like I had to prove that I could just keep going. On day 115 I felt a pain in my calf around mile 4 but I HAD to finish the 6 miler. By the end of the run the pain was intense and I could barely walk. The next day I ran 3 miles. On day119, it was a 10 miler and I was convinced there wasn't a problem.

That night I posted the "StreakDay 119" pic online. I had to let the world know about this amazing feat.... that is when the VOICES took charge. That is when the "Streak" came to an abrupt end. I realized then that I wasn't training. I hadn't been racing. My intensity level was below par. My focus had been lost. The numbers had become more important than the running. More important than the journey. More important than my competitive spirit. Only 119 days and I had become this dude.... sad.

 

Lesson learned. The "Streak" wasn't entirely bad. 119 days, 835 miles.... I'll keep those numbers and I enjoyed most of it and will probably streak again at some point. For better or worse, it was an awesome learning experience.

The focus is back. With a 50 miler coming up in about a month- and a sweet little 50k a few weeks later, it's time to get my act together and put some real numbers on the board.  After that....... uhhhh..... we'll talk about that later. Right now I've got a minor injury that needs some dirt rubbed on it. Then it's time to get back to bidness.....