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This is how it works-
I love to run but there are times when I would rather not. This is when the voices start. Chants, name calling, guilt and reverse psychology is how they get me up and out the door. I don't really mind the voices and have actually started looking forward to their daily calls. Together we have formed a running club that supports, encourages and competes with each other. I love these peeps. They are much more experienced, talented and tougher than I am. Pushing me out the door, through the hard miles and up the monster hills when I am feeling lazy or want to give up. Some people have "real" training partners, coaches and support crews. My team is ALWAYS with me and helps me to keep my eye on the prize and not veer off the track. Sounds crazy- Yeah, probably is.........

Sunday, March 4, 2012

I Used To Be Different....

Before I was a runner I was a different person. I'm not talking about the weight loss or any other physical difference. I'm talking about becoming a different person. It's weird because I still feel like the same dude but I know I'm not. Running has changed me. Running has given me a new outlook on many things. Running has NOT made me a better person but it has made me different.

I used to be jealous of others. For example, if somebody said they were a runner, I would laugh and ask why. If they said they could run a 5k, I would say "I use to run 3 miles in the Corps, big deal." If they said they could run a marathon, I would give the old.... "I could do that- but why the hell would I want too?"

I used to be scared... Scared of what people would think. Scared they might laugh. Scared they would think I couldn't do the things they could. I used to be scared that I would fail. So I made fun of them.

I used to judge others. By brief interactions. By what others told me. By their clothes. By their laugh. By their appearance. I used to judge them before they judged me.

I used to be competitive. I wanted to win. I hated to lose. I worked hard to win. I worked hard not to lose. I wanted to be the best. I worked hard to be the best. Some things don't change.

Now I understand that a 5k is a big deal for ANYBODY. I'm not scared to fail or just be the big old dork that I really am. I don't judge without asking "at least" a few questions. (of them and myself) I still want to win but I have learned that I am my biggest competition and I will never win. If I do win.... I will have become a different person.

Of course, I have gained a few years and MANY life changes since the start of my "running life" so maybe this evolution would have come naturally. Running could be a giant waste of time......
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3 comments:

K Maul said...

That just put into words what I had been trying to tell others. Everybody has their own journey, their own hurdles to accomplish and overcome. Running has helped identify the human spirit in me, and others - where it's not who wins, but helping those around me succeed as well.

Great post!

March 4, 2012 at 7:54 PM
Unknown said...

Excellent post David! I am in a similar position though the fear of failure still dominates my life unfortunately. I am seriously hoping that my transition is around the corner. I really feel like this stupid nagging injury that has kept me down since October may be the sign I need. Now the hard part is to listen to the voices. Keep doing it right brother! You're a great example and I'm glad to know you.

March 5, 2012 at 9:52 AM
Nathan Veldhoen said...

Running brings a lot to the table for me, I think the most important part is it a great way escape from the bord'em of regular day life. Great post...

April 2, 2012 at 4:09 PM

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