I love to run but there are times when I would rather not. This is when the voices start. Chants, name calling, guilt and reverse psychology is how they get me up and out the door. I don't really mind the voices and have actually started looking forward to their daily calls. Together we have formed a running club that supports, encourages and competes with each other. I love these peeps. They are much more experienced, talented and tougher than I am. Pushing me out the door, through the hard miles and up the monster hills when I am feeling lazy or want to give up. Some people have "real" training partners, coaches and support crews. My team is ALWAYS with me and helps me to keep my eye on the prize and not veer off the track. Sounds crazy- Yeah, probably is.........
For 119 days I ran. Everyday. No matter what. No less than 3 miles. Some days 15 or 20 miles. Some days I ran twice. Why? Because I was "Streaking". At first, it was just because the days ran together. In fact, it is common for me to run 10 or 12 days in a row without taking a day off. I don't really know why or when the VOICES decided I should streak. It just kind of happened quietly.
At 100 days and 700 miles the VOICES were happy and ready to call it good. This is where I took over and "sold out". I got wrapped up in the numbers. It was like a crazy addiction. Like I had to prove that I could just keep going. On day 115 I felt a pain in my calf around mile 4 but I HAD to finish the 6 miler. By the end of the run the pain was intense and I could barely walk. The next day I ran 3 miles. On day119, it was a 10 miler and I was convinced there wasn't a problem.
That night I posted the "StreakDay 119" pic online. I had to let the world know about this amazing feat.... that is when the VOICES took charge. That is when the "Streak" came to an abrupt end. I realized then that I wasn't training. I hadn't been racing. My intensity level was below par. My focus had been lost. The numbers had become more important than the running. More important than the journey. More important than my competitive spirit. Only 119 days and I had become this dude.... sad.
Lesson learned. The "Streak" wasn't entirely bad. 119 days, 835 miles.... I'll keep those numbers and I enjoyed most of it and will probably streak again at some point. For better or worse, it was an awesome learning experience.
The focus is back. With a 50 miler coming up in about a month- and a sweet little 50k a few weeks later, it's time to get my act together and put some real numbers on the board. After that....... uhhhh..... we'll talk about that later. Right now I've got a minor injury that needs some dirt rubbed on it. Then it's time to get back to bidness.....
I don't have time.... too many things to do today. This was my first thought this morning when I woke up. Amazing how I already had jumped from A to Z and forgot the other 24 letters in between. My wife left early to work on a float that she and a friend were constructing for the annual Hootin and Hollarin parade. So I was "the dude" in charge.... scary. I decided to FIND a way to get at least something in. After some coffee, a MUST for any morning, I cooked the boys breakfast and we headed downstairs. They were able to play (and check on dad) while I worked out in my weight room. I also managed to squeeze in a quick 3 miles on the dreadmill. Total time for all of this was about 2 hours.
I was left with a grand total of 30 minutes for all of us to be showered, dressed and ready to roll out the door. Not REAL easy with a 7 and 3 year old but we got it done and zipped to town to play our part on the float and pass out candy. The sun beat down on us and everybody, including me, was wore out when we got home this afternoon. With my wife staying after to clean up and take the float apart- I was in charge of dinner. When she came home, the boys were fed and ready for a late nap. I thought about napping myself but then the VOICES kicked in.
"Are you REALLY going to nap? You're wasting precious time...... INVISIBLE MILES!!" Invisible miles?? Those are my favorite. They are the miles that you "sneak in" and do not affect your family at all. They are invisible in the sense that nobody but you can see them. I love invisible miles. I had to drag myself out the door- but it was well worth it. 6 miles of gravel roads at a decent pace- invisible to everyone else AND a double-dip.... can't beat that.
So, I guess what I'm saying is this...... sometimes we have to quit looking for excuses to not get it done and FIND ways to make it happen. Right now I have to find my way back to town for some more of that Hootin and Hollarin fun.... good music, square dancing, great people and FUNNEL CAKES.
Yesterday on September 11, 2010, The VOICES Club showed up in full force. Seems fitting that our BEST 5k performance would occur on this date. The race was held in Seymour, MO at the town's annual Apple Festival. It is a great little race because it is FLAT and FAST- I have been every year except once for the last 5 years. It draws a small crowd but grows a little each year.
I fit this race in as part of my everyday running with the thought that it would be fun and a good way to squeeze in some speed work. Speed work. I HATE that stuff and it is a very RARE occasion that you will catch me at the track running Yasso 800's or some other variation of KILL YOURSELF repeats. I just don't care for it or I'm not willing to work that HARD- both of these are probably true. My friend, Charley, and I had decided that we would run the 5k and then run afterwards to make it a combination speed- long run day. His training schedule called for a 20 miler and mine called for.....uhhhh..... whatever, 20 sounded great to me.
We lined up, said a prayer for remembrance and took off. I managed to keep a hard pace (for me) and kept Charley within sight even running with him for the first mile. Significant because he is FAST. I crossed the finish line in 2nd place with a time of 17:07. WOOOOO!!!!!! WAIT....17:07?? No- that couldn't be right. It wasn't. A quick glance at the Garmin showed the course to only measure out at 3 miles instead of 3.1. Bummer. Doing the math- I have calculated the actual 5k time to be 17:48- Still a PR by 30 seconds or more. Of course, some would claim that it is NOT a 5k PR but those people SUCK. I call it a 5k PR. Done. That's how it is.
Charley and I ended up getting just over 20 miles in for the day- and had a great long run together. This is something we have not been able to do in a while due to schedule conflicts so it was really nice to run with my REAL training partner and friend. Dude knows how to push me when I need it.
Weird. That is how WE explain it. Because of my lack of "expertise" when it comes to all things running, I am confused. There has been ZERO speed work, ZERO training plans, ZERO pressure to improve and ZERO focus on races. Oh well, no need to think to much about it- that just ruins the fun. The VOICES have explained in very simple terms that even a dummy like me can understand. A whole bunch of LSD can really speed a guy up. (no drug test required)
The "Streak" had to come to an end..... Here are the numbers:
45 days 326 miles 7.25 miles/day average A few 3 milers on the low end and one 17 miler on the high end, several 6 - 10 mile runs sandwiched in the middle.
The streak just kind of happened. I didn't realize that there were no rest days until I was about 10 days in. My longest stretch ever had been 9 days so WE got to thinkin'...... what would happen if I kept going for a while? Naturally, I assumed it would lead to injury or burnout- so I made a deal with the VOICES. If things started to get out of hand- which I knew they would- WE would stop. No problem.... Yeah, right.
The idea was to keep running like I normally would, 5-6 miles per day through the week and some longer stuff on the weekends. Of course, all this changed and I found myself running a few 10's through the week and not really going long on the weekends. Another change was my pace. There were more slow miles than ever before. By slow, I am talking about maybe 30-40 seconds per mile off my "normal" pace. Even the VOICES seemed okay with this.
Everything was humming along smoothly until about the 30 day mark. Then it started going downhill. With the One Mile of Honor month-long event only half over, I felt like I HAD to press on. There were no injuries, it just started to feel like "WORK". Almost like the old commercial- "Time to make the donuts....." you know, really hard to drag myself out there day after day. Not really burn-out but more like I had a TRAINING PLAN- and I really dislike the pressure of a TRAINING PLAN.
Finally, this past Thursday, things got so jumbled up in my day that time slipped away and it just didn't happen. I went to bed a little disappointed but kind of relieved. When I woke up Friday morning.... Guess what? The world did NOT explode, time didn't stop and (this is the biggest shock of all) NOBODY cared. The best part? I actually felt like going for a run.
So, with one day of precious rest, the burden of the streak disappeared and I decided to hit the road for about 10 miles. The first 5 miles felt so good that I decided not to turn around and head back home. Before long, I was 10 miles out and feeling GOOD. Glancing at my Garmin, I took note of the average pace for that distance. 7:45/mile. How did that happen? I was just taking it easy and ENJOYING the morning. That gave me a little boost and the next 10 went a little faster. 7:15 average. There were even a few sub 7's mixed in on the later miles. Not sure what happened here- but one thing I do know- it was, for me, a GREAT run. Not only was it my longest in a while- since the Relay run back in June- but it was also a solo run- which is always harder.
The streak was an experiment- another silly stunt, really- to test myself mentally and physically. I somehow managed to avoid injury and, thankfully, LIFE intervened and took the decision to keep going out of my hands. A few things learned here.....
First- running IS and always should be fun. This is why I despise training plans so much- they suck the fun out of it.
Second- too much is too much. Not too much running but too much pressure. Pressure that I placed on MYSELF. Nobody else cared- but I have this crazy habit of piling it on when there is no reason to. That probably won't change much but at least I can recognize it a little easier.
Third- Mixing some SLOW running in with my training is going to become the norm. It WORKS- I have "known" this for a while but the last couple of months re-affirms my belief that sometimes you have to go slow if you want to go faster.
Fourth- Rest days are NOT evil. It is okay to chill once in a while. Once in a while.....
Simple lessons that I HAD to learn the hard way- that's how WE roll 'round here.
Okay.....sometimes I am an IDIOT....sometimes. This will not come as a shock to anybody but it usually takes me all of 10 minutes to write one these “blog thingies” and I don't generally put much thought into them. So, after going back and reading the Mumbo Jumbo.... I realized that I am truly an IDIOT. Training plans are important to a lot of people, just not me. Many CAN benefit from following a plan. Some actually NEED the strict discipline of a “cookie cutter” training plan to accomplish their goals. There are times when I get so wrapped up in the “me” aspect of all this, that I fail to articulate that there are about 1 billion ideas out there that are different and probably better than mine.
This is not a retraction. I still think that cookie cutter plans are, for the most part, not the best way to go and are designed to make somebody some money in one form or another. The C25K plan, for example, is a “miracle worker” for some but there are a TON of people that fail to complete it because they get hung up on the notion that they MUST be able to complete each phase in a specified time. When they get stalled on a certain distance or time, they wind up discouraged and quit all together. To me, that is not a great plan for EVERYBODY. A little tweaking on the plan and the MIND can change all that- but then it is no longer the C25K training plan. It becomes your own plan BASED on another. This is what I was trying to convey but failed miserably. If a plan does work for you or you find that you NEED to follow a plan to reach specific goals then, by all means, you should.
Training plans are designed by coaches, trainers and experts that DO know what they are doing. It is just my opinion that to grab one of these plans off the internet, from magazines or the book store and follow them to a T – without evaluating yourself vs. the plan is CRAZY. If you are fortunate enough to hire a personal coach or trainer that knows what they are doing, you could benefit from a plan they design to specifically fit you and your goals. Personal interaction and evaluation is the only way they could possibly give you a training plan that will work for you, your schedule, your needs and your goals.
The technical stuff....... boring, yes, but sometimes beneficial IF we are not so wrapped up in all of it that running becomes the required burden to gather the data. I stand by my statements about heart rate, VO2 max and all that. BORING. But if it helps you understand your limitations and betters performance, that is awesome. Just not my cup of tea- I would rather run, log my distance and smile. I used to get wrapped up in going faster every-time out- now I understand that to go faster- I should go slower sometimes.(I'll talk about THAT another time) Didn't need a heart rate monitor or an understanding of fast-twitch/slow-twitch for that. Just needed some time on my feet and a few races under my belt.
So, for the 4 or 5 that read this, use a plan if it helps YOU. Runners are part of a GREAT community and we can all help each other get better. This “blog thingy” helps me understand myself and what I can do- but it should NEVER be a tool for discouragement or running down what others believe. The exception to this is “real runners”. When I refer to “real runners” I am talking about a very small group- those that never have a nice thing to say, especially to someone slower, show up ONLY when there is money on the table and they KNOW nobody else can compete or pull out early with a fake injury. I don't like these people and think they are not good for running in general.
My philosophy is simple......run, enjoy, repeat. I feel that by using this as the backdrop to MY training then I will be successful in MY goals. Plans are great- everybody needs some kind of plan whether it is for running or life in general- we just need to make sure it is the RIGHT plan to successfully reach our goals. It is MY thought that the best way to succeed is by resolving to accomplish your goal, remain focused, stay FLEXIBLE and ignore those that say you can't. Basically- It is all on YOU to make it happen.
Training plans.......there are a million of them out there. Everything from running your first 5k to 100 milers. So many to choose from that I have given up looking for the “right” one. When I started my running life, I became absorbed in everything “running”, bought all the books, magazines, movies, read every blog and discussion forum on the internet. I couldn't get enough information about speed work, proper form, training, shoes, gadgets and all things related. There are a few constants but the one thing that struck me was how much disagreement there can be among runners- mortals, elites and “experts” alike. Some say go fast, others want us to go easy and a few say to run slow all the time. Who do I believe? Uhh.....
I am one of those people that believe that the only way to “truly” learn is through personal experience. Sure this takes a little longer and there are some risks, like injury and never reaching the peak performance, but still, I think it is the BEST way. I may be way off base here, but it seems that most of these “experts” are basing there plans on what works best for themselves......exactly what I believe.....but want to apply it to everyone else. HOW can one plan work for everybody? I mean, they are almost always backed with some type of guarantee. (I guarantee that if it doesn't work for YOU, it was because YOU didn't follow the plan properly.)
VO2 max, lactic threshold, fast-twitch, slow-twitch, pronation, fartleks, tempo-run, marathon pace, mp+ 30, heart rate and Yasso 800's....... that crap blows my mind and leaves me feeling less like running and more like taking a nap. I kind of understand some of it and do not care about the rest. What I do know is this...... When I run as hard as I can, my heart beats faster and breathing becomes difficult, so I slow down. When I get thirsty, I drink water. My marathon pace depends on the course, weather and how I feel that day. Yasso 800's tell me nothing except that I hate running 800's. The rest of that “technical” stuff is just mumbo-jumbo to me.
I have tried to follow some plans in the past and usually end up tired, sore and less motivated than ever. Some of it is because of the time commitment required, some due to the mid-week speed drills but mostly because I hate the inflexible nature of a strict plan. Knowing that training is more important than the actual event, I WILL follow a training plan for all future events. The plan will be the same for everything.....run everyday if possible, try to hit back to back long runs (10-12 miles followed by 16-20 miles the next day). Some will be slow, some will be faster but they will ALL be on my terms- depending on how I feel that day.
Combining this running plan with proper nutrition, weight and core training and my “new” cross-training method- the old rusty Schwinn, things should be fine. I may not hit my ultimate peak and the fastest times possible for me but that will be okay. I WILL have fun training, work hard and not feel burdened by it. Honestly, even if I was somehow able to reach my top potential, cranking out my fastest time- it is not going to make ANY difference other than a few places higher in my age group.
This GENIUS TRAINING PLAN will not be available anywhere but here. I understand that “Real” runners will probably laugh or get irritated by my lack of knowledge or caring but I KNOW what works for me. Besides.....I'm the guy that wears regular old Nike's and a doo-rag to trail races, I obviously have no clue.......
Invisible miles. That is what I like to call them. Woke up at 5 a.m., grabbed some coffee and took a walk down the beach. After 30 minutes I realized that this was the perfect time to slip out and explore- 10 miles and 1 hour 13 minutes worth of exploring later, I was back before breakfast. No need to "steal" time away from the family later- I love invisible miles. WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! x10
You Only Get Out What You Put In..... Seem's so obvious, now.
Saturday May 1, 2010. The Bradleyville Scholarship 5k. Nothing like going back to where it all started. This annual 5k was my first ever race back in 2006. I showed up with about 4 months of running experience and very low expectations. I was familiar with the area and knew the course would be very hilly and was considered a “tough” 5k. With this knowledge I signed up and hoped to finish around 24 minutes and not embarrass myself.
I had been running a hilly 3 mile route by my house for the last few months but was still a newbie and had no idea how to approach a road race- nothing about pacing, breathing or actual “running” shoes. I just figured that an old pair of shorts, t-shirt and whatever Nike's I had in the closet would be fine. I showed up confused and it was obvious to all that this was my first 5k. So I was very surprised and happy when I crossed the line in 22:07, winning 2nd place in my age division. I think the trophy sealed the deal- I would be back.
I have returned every year since '06. Finishing '07 in 19:25 and 19:18 in '08, my times were getting faster. In '09 there was a pile up at the start because some little kids lined up in front and then, naturally, started falling down as the faster and bigger runners came through. I stopped 3 times to help move kids to the side so they didn't get hurt. This cost me a few seconds- well worth it though- and I finished in 19:48. Still not bad (for me) and would have been close to the previous two years otherwise.
Because my training has been focused more on longer, slower distances these past 6 months or so, I had no expectations of anything better than high 19's this year. You could say that I was just a little hyped crossing the line in 18:35, about 45 seconds faster than my best here and THAT is a giant difference in the world of 5k's. There was NO WAY that I should have been able to run that kind of time, given my history on this course and the slower training runs and zero speed work. NO WAY....Or was there?
True there has been absolutely no speed training or track sessions. True I have concentrated only on longer, slower paced running. But it is also true that I have been more consistent in my training, logging 45-50 miles per week for 6 months. And I have also added weights and core work to my training plan. These two small things have given BIG results. I used to laugh at the weights as a cross-training method because I thought that had nothing to do with running. DUMB.
The weights and core work- only 3 months thus far- have paid HUGE dividends. I know this is the difference here and on the 50 miler. My recovery time for the 50 was way faster than it should have been and there is only one explanation for that. I had the idea that things were paying off then but after this 5k, I KNOW for sure. Too bad it took me so long to figure out the obvious, that cross-training is necessary and an important tool for improvement and recovery. I know it is not a substitute for speed-work and I need to work on that but it's enough for me to continue the way too early, 4 AM work-outs. When I want to hit the snooze button, I am sure the VOICES will remind me why.....
-Nobody's a natural. You work hard to get good and work hard to get better. - Paul Coffey
Can I do this? This is a question asked over and over in my head. Before the first 5k then a couple of months later at the first 10k. The next 3 months were filled with questions, uncertainty and self-doubt. Pulled that ½ marathon off without a problem and a year later the first full 26.2 mile Marathon. Serious doubts plagued my mind for over a year before finishing a 50k. Even now, before any event from a 5k to 50k, the butterflies are there and doubt rears its ugly head. I don't know why this happens but it does.
For the most part I have a VERY healthy self-esteem that can easily be perceived as arrogance and borders on narcissism at times. Thankfully I have those “voices” to even things out. For every vote of confidence there is also one that tells me I have under-trained, am untalented, fat, lazy, not mentally or physically tough enough and just plain stupid for thinking I will even finish. I love these guys. For the most part they are right. I usually am under-trained, far less talented than the “elite” class of runners, could stand to lose a few lbs, do have trouble pushing myself when it gets hard, could certainly benefit from some serious training and do have a tendency to jump in above my head sometimes. Thank God for the rest of the “crew”. They always let me know that failure is not part of the plan and we will, somehow, pull it off.
Psychological, environmental and spiritual factors all play a major role in every challenge. Every time I get down on myself and question my abilities or training, I manage to pull through by drawing on memories of things accomplished. Some go waaaay back to my childhood, others to my days in the Marine Corps and some are from my relatively short running “life”. Everything boils down to where a person has been, where they come from and what they have overcome. Sometimes desire to finish will outweigh training and natural talent.
Of course these things only extend so far. I KNOW for a fact that I am a mediocre runner at best, with a slim shot at winning an age group award but will never end up on the podium with a gold medal. This is a fair and honest assessment that does not drag me down but, rather, lifts me up and helps to set “realistic” goals for each endeavor. KNOWING that I will not win really puts things in perspective and helps bring my desire to “compete” with myself to the front. No amount of mental toughness or prayers will change these FACTS.
These FACTS do provide a mental boost to my training. Knowing my own limitations, as far as being a “true” competitor, allows me to train within the psychological, environmental and spiritual boundaries of my “real” life. It also makes it easy to finish what I start which, after all, is the real reason to jump into these events that always seem beyond my reach. I love the war between cockiness and doubt that wages in my head. Both are good and both have their place. I really believe that one without the other would only lead to complete and utter failure.
So the answer to the question, can I do this? Well, at the risk of sounding arrogant, HELL YEAH!! (Maybe)
Some people understand why running is so great, others struggle to understand. I hope this helps....... Running can provide many adventures if you're paying attention. Whether on a training run or race, along the roadways or through the trails, there is always something that can make an impact. Simple things sometimes and monumental, never to be forgotten things at other times. From my first run through today I have always been able to walk away with a sense that I had witnessed or done something that many others may never experience. This is part of the reason that I LOVE to run outdoors. Winter brings obstacles such as snow, ice and extreme cold but it also brings the satisfaction of making the first tracks in fresh snow, the challenge of staying upright on the ice and the knowledge that cold can be overcome. I can recall running in such cold extremes that upon finishing there was major ice build-up on my clothes and face. Awesome feeling- can't really explain why but some of you will understand. I love to make the first tracks in fresh snow on a seldom used gravel road or trail. Running is difficult in these conditions and the pace slows but the knowledge that I am the only person to travel that particular route brings a surreal sense of inner peace. Weird, yes, but some of you will understand. Running in the ice brings many hazards and challenges but it can be fun. I ran a 10k a few years back on a loop course that was covered in ice. Slowed the pace a little but made me much more aware of form and stride. This was a lesson that carried over into my everyday running. It was also a lot of fun to watch people slip and hit the ground, everybody understands this one. Running in the heat can be very difficult. The pace slows and the motivation to get out becomes less than ideal but it also provides a warrior mentality that can't be matched. Summer also brings the less glamorous side of running out- things rub. Blood flows from odd places and blisters become common. Not fun but very warrior worthy- sounds ridiculous but some of you will understand. I have bonded with friends and myself on training runs. You can really get to know a person if you hit the road with them. Run for an hour with somebody and you will learn more in that short period than you can in weeks of interaction. Something about the physical nature of the run opens people up to talk about anything. If you have ever shared the road with a training partner, you understand. This also applies to myself when running alone. I have learned a lot about myself on long and short runs. Sometimes we really do have talk to ourselves to work things out. Pushing when things are tough or just sorting out the daily jumble of life it is a great way to get to know who you really are. Maybe a few will understand this one. I have encountered amazing pictures of natural beauty on trail runs and have seen more wildlife than I ever could have had I not been on foot. Deer, turkey, bobcats, skunks, snakes of all varieties along with creeks and picturesque scenery worthy of paintings in any museum. This keeps me hitting the trails- easy enough to understand. During a half marathon I witnessed a “killer” squirrel that chased a runner down the road and watched as my running partner chased a squirrel during a full marathon. At mile 22 of the Little Rock Marathon a couple of years ago I enjoyed a cold beer on the run. This gave some people a good laugh, others were shocked, some disgusted and appalled. Me? I was having a beer at mile 22- how many people can say they did that? I know there are a few that understand that. Adventures come daily and are all in the eye of the beholder. My favorite came in a 50k out in Tulsa. The rain set in early, mile 5, and the trail was a mess. By mile 18 I was done but there were a few voices in my head that wouldn't let me quit. At mile 21 I was a total wreck mentally but kept running, straight up hill. My head down and feet digging in, I came to a sudden stop and fell back on my butt. Looking around to figure out what happened (and make sure nobody was close enough to witness) I realized that it was a tree that stopped me. I had run smack dab into it and I lost, the tree held the trail. I quickly got up and was overcome with the MOTHER of all cramps in my legs. Thinking I had to walk I realized that was impossible so I RAN. It hurt but not as bad. About 10 minutes later I reached for my water bottle and it was not there. I must have lost in when the tree kicked my ass. I continued in a state of semi-dehydration towards the finish line. Unfortunately I lost the trail for a while at mile 29 but somehow managed to backtrack and find it. I finished the 31 (or 32) miles in a delirious stumble. This was a GRAND ADVENTURE that was definitely a challenge and made a huge impact on me as a runner. If you don't understand this one.......Get out on the road and give it some time, you will.
Balance. An important part of anything we do in life. Too much of any one thing can have negative results in another area of our lives. Sometimes it is seemingly impossible to find the right mix to keep everything running on an even keel. Any exercise program will require balance in our lives. I don't mean balance between different target areas or groups of muscles but rather the balance in our daily lives between family, work and THE WORKOUT.
It was easy for me at first. 30 minutes a day, tops. Easy to squeeze that amount of time in. Diet? That too was easy for me. Just cut back on the junk and go to smaller portions. The scale was a friend as the weight came off. I had goals and everyone understood and was supportive. But all that soon changed. I started running more and more, always passed on the dessert and stepped on the scale every time I walked by. The time it took to work out or run increased and if a planned run had to be skipped because “life” got in the way, well, I got more than a little irritated. Grumpy would actually be a better way to describe it.
I would love to say that all of that has changed but it would be a lie. I have learned a few things though. The scale is still a friend but like a “true friend” it tells me when I get out of line. There is no real panic now because I know what I need to do to get my friend to be nice again. I have discovered that dessert is not the devil and it is possible to enjoy a PIECE of cake without eating the entire cake. Balance.....in those areas at least.
My wife really does support my running. She thinks I'm out of my mind sometimes for putting my body through the punishment of a 20 mile training run or a 50k trail race but she is still supportive. Where she gets upset is when I have to plan everything we do around getting a run in. “Weekend plans? Sure, I would love to do that with you and the kids. What time do we leave? Will I have time to run for 2 hours before we leave or do we need to cut it short so I can have time when we get back?” It would be easy for me to just write it off as her not understanding that I HAVE to do these runs in order to be able to finish my next event. The truth, well that is not as easy. She may not understand all the crazy thoughts in my head but the fact remains that the time I NEED to set aside is very intrusive in our family's life. It does take away from family time.
I try to get as many “invisible” miles in as I can. Invisible in the sense that it does not intrude on time I need to spend with the ones that I love. Running on my lunch break at work or scheduling a long run early on a Sunday morning helps. Missing a planned run does not grind on me as much as it use to but can still put me in a foul mood. I have caught myself becoming very snappy with everybody if I can see that my run is not going to happen that day. I know that it is selfish and sometimes I can convince myself that it is fine, make it up tomorrow and that a rest day is just what I needed. But the other times.......I am a jerk. To everybody. Not really fair to my family and not really fair to me as far as the kind of husband and father that I strive to be.
Balance? NOPE. I will continue working on it by getting those “invisible” miles in and attempting to become more aware of the fact that it is okay and, at times, necessary to rearrange MY running schedule to enjoy the IMPORTANT things in life. It is very easy for me to lose focus on many “real life” things when tunnel vision takes over and running gets to high on the priority list. Running is an important part of my life but it does have it's place. That place HAS to be lower on the ladder than the ones that mean more to me and most of the time it is but, regrettably, not always. I don't think that I am the only one to ever have this issue but who knows? I am kind of in my own little world most of the time.
The search for BALANCE will continue. Maybe I will find it one day.......on a long run.
Saturday morning. Time for a long run. Maybe after some coffee and breakfast. Maybe later in the morning. Maybe this afternoon. Maybe tomorrow. And this is how it usually goes for me. I LOVE my long runs but hate to actually get out the door and on the road. Why? I have no idea. It usually takes 1-2 hours after I declare to my family that I will be going for a run before I actually lace 'em up and go. Today was no different. Finally at about noon, I sent a friend of mine a text. He is running a half in Little Rock this March, so I knew there was some type of long run in his plan this weekend. He called just a few minutes later and we agreed to run 8 miles together. I was hoping the he would run 10 but I'll take what I can get. I decided to run 10 miles before meeting him. Leaving my house I started at a slow pace but picked it up as I went. Keeping in mind that I would be running 18 miles total I tried to keep it slower and ended up with a 7:45 pace as my house came back into view. The timing was perfect. There he was, ready to roll. One problem. It was now 3 pm and I hadn't ate since about 7:30 a.m. One small bowl of oatmeal and a piece of toast were not cutting it at this point. Running into my house, I grabbed a quick drink and a handful of Skittles. I had my doubts about this choice but I was in a hurry. Mouth full of candy and water bottle filled I was ready. We took off on a very hilly route and had a great run. 8 miles at a 9:20 pace. I ended up with my 18 and learned a new trick. A handfull of Skittles worked as good as any energy gels I have tried and tasted a whole lot better. The procrastination thing........I'll worry about that later.
I fully expected the streak to end at 48 days. But on the day after the 53 mile run at the Relay For Life, the VOICES had me throwing down a 5 miler on the treadmill. Okay.... Then I thought it would end at 77 with the "non-training, almost drowning, non-bike riding, I forgot how to run a 5k, Tri". Nope. The VOICES wanted more.
