Sometimes the VOICES ask some crazy questions. I usually avoid answering because the answers are hard and sometimes embarrassing. They used to ask, "Why do you run?" and my answer usually came in the form of "uhhhhh....." It was not meant to be a trick question yet it was so HARD to come up with an answer. Why do I run when there are so many days that I do not feel like lacing them up and going? Why do I run when there is no real incentive? I mean, I will never be paid, will never get famous, will never win a big event, will never........ Why do I run? The short answer is..... uhhhhh...
Some things are impossible to put into words. The feeling of peace that accompanies every run is part of it. The sense of accomplishment is another. Going to work after completing a long run, marathon or ultra and feeling a lot like the dude in Fight Club. You know, the scene where he is in his office and looking around thinking something to the effect of "You people have no idea what I do when I'm not here". Maybe it's the chase for that elusive endorphin "high" that I hear so many talk about. In the end the VOICES were satisfied with this answer. "Because WE just do."
Another question THEY ask is "Why do you blog?" Huh?? What do you mean WHY? Because I am a world-class, first rate writer that everybody wants to hear from. DUH. That answer only got a huge laugh and a few not-so nice comments about the blog. So, this question is a lot like the other. Simple question- hard to answer.
There is no REAL incentive for me to write ANYTHING. I am not an expert, not an elite, not a writer, not even very smart. But what I do have is questions that only seem to work themselves out as I write. Nothing I put on here is meant to be profound, brilliant or inspiring. (and trust me, I know it's not even close) It is a way for me to work through my own running issues, problems and goals. A way that, as crazy as it sounds, can ONLY work themselves out by "putting it out there" for a few to see. Don't know why this works for me but it does. So in the end, the same answer probably applies. "Because WE just do."
Of course those are non-answers to simple questions. The REAL answer for every question THEY ever ask is much easier. Because THEY believe in me and I believe in THEM. Together WE can do anything. Maybe not better than anybody else but we CAN still do it.
~I'll never be an elite runner. Probably no better than average at best. This I know. I hope that nobody tells the VOICES these facts...... I like how they still BELIEVE.
This is how it works-
I love to run but there are times when I would rather not. This is when the voices start. Chants, name calling, guilt and reverse psychology is how they get me up and out the door. I don't really mind the voices and have actually started looking forward to their daily calls. Together we have formed a running club that supports, encourages and competes with each other. I love these peeps. They are much more experienced, talented and tougher than I am. Pushing me out the door, through the hard miles and up the monster hills when I am feeling lazy or want to give up. Some people have "real" training partners, coaches and support crews. My team is ALWAYS with me and helps me to keep my eye on the prize and not veer off the track. Sounds crazy- Yeah, probably is.........